You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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