Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
