playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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