She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
