You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
