he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
