absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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