know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
