ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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