She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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