New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize