lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
