guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
