I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
