if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize