he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
