i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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