Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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