She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
