hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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