Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
