you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
