Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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