How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize