That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
