I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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