Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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