he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I deserve this hangover.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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