I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize