She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize