you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
