We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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