I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize