At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
