my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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