Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize