I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
