The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
