just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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