I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
