Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
