Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
