Who did Billy Mays play for?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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