I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
