i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
