I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
