it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
