Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
