How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
