btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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