she woke up with a sticky ear
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Houston, we have a blender
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
