the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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