No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
