My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
