i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
