That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm too high and old for this...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
