no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize