Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
