The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
