It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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