i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
