They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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