guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
