Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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